Letter to Obama, Mexico looks better than the US . . . . . BUT . . . . .

[PHILIP SCHNEIDER]

We're moving to Mexico .
I wrote this letter to the White
House:


Dear Mr. President,

I'm planning to move to Mexico for my health, and I
would like to ask you to assist me.

I'm planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S.
into Mexico , and I'll need your help to make a few
arrangements.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle
those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind
telling your buddy, President Calderon,
that I'm on my way down?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the
following:

1. Free medical care .

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services
I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by
English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on
American culture and history.

6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one
of the flagpoles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both
breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I
can get easy access to government services and be able to vote.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I
don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any
special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their
president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car
has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put
US. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July
4th. I do not want any complaints or
negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying
any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I
may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican
people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me
or my family, or about the strain we might place on their
economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't
pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into
the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly
income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do
all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. From
Mexico .

I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning
the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.
You're the man!!!

ps, I'm just kidding. I'm really going to resist your "change" policy and everything you have attempted to jam down my throat till my last dying breath!!!