REAL CONSERVATIVES

NEVER TOLERATE TYRANNY!....Conservative voices from the GRASSROOTS.

"DOC BARACK"

(the first DIGITAL prez)

"I’m so glad I enrolled

in o’bummacare"

 

The first thing I did was to go in for a checkup. They told me they don’t take checks.

Anyway, luckily I had some cash and I got in for the exam. The Primary Care Nurse diagnosed me with:

  1. Hammer toe
  2. Hang Nails
  3. ...and Shingles

She referred me to a CARPENTER!!

...so, anyway, she sent me to the hospital, but due to a shortage of regular ambulances she called the

new GOVERNMENT AMBULANCE.

Image result for MAIL TRUCK

Then a mailman walked in, and called out my name. I was thinking "how did he know I was here?". Turns out, the mail truck was the ambulance! He asked me if I wanted to go to the emergency room First Class, or Bulk. And then he charged me three times as much for First Class! ( I should have asked for Priority Mail, but he said they didn’t deliver on Saturday anymore!)

...he did sympathetically ask if I was in any pain. and if so, offered to shoot me if it would help...said he was feeling a little "POSTAL" today!  Nice gesture!

Anyway, while the carpenter was operating on me, he hit a vein, and I started to bleed. Now, normally, they would have quickly cauterized the bleeder, but since there was a shortage of cauterizing instruments, they had a Welder on duty. The carpenter told me to "...relax, he, too, is a good Union man". That was very comforting.

At one point, this carpenter suggested that he may want a plastic surgeon to look at me. I suppose my reaction to that suggestion was only human, you know, fear of the unknown and all, so my gut reaction to that suggestion was to quickly blurt out "...No thanks, Doc! I prefer wood!."

When it was all over, they asked me to return in two weeks. When I came back, with my insurance card, the receptionist said "No, no no. We need your tax RETURN to prove you have coverage. We don’t need to see YOU."

 

Well, just thought I’d bring you up to date. Gotta go now, my cousin Jose is coming over today from Mexico, via the Rio Grande. He heard the water was low due to the drought. He needs to enroll in Lamaze classes before he sends for the rest of the family. His girlfriend is having twins, but they can only afford one more kid right now. They're going for a Twofer, a free delivery and a free abortion!.... Good deal, no?

He did ask me to ask if the carpenter had any work

I told him to contact FEMA, I think they’re building some new camps, ...or something.

 

Ray A, Author

RIGHT SIDE UP

 

ps...next time I get sick I'm calling Joe the Plumber!

 

 

DOWNLOAD A COPY:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/raymond-athens/right-side-up/ebook/product...

 

UPDATE: 10/3/2013

 

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Comment by PHILIP SCHNEIDER on October 15, 2012 at 12:30am

What does that mean Kathryn, " as a former or nurse?" Or what ?

There is always room for humor.

Comment by Kathryn Ball on October 14, 2012 at 11:47pm

OMG, Philip.........................AND RayA.....................this might be too much information for most  [as a former O.R. Nurse, I have pretty much seen and heard it ALL.......................soon to go totally BLIND!!!]

FYI.....LOTS of commercials re: "testosterone".......................[seroiusly....have ANY of you had to explain this to your kids or, worse YET...grandkids?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! YIKES!!!!!!!]  My 11 yr old grandson asked my daughter what that meant,,,she told him it was for something that "won't go UP'...........Kevin asked .............. "Oh.....like my math grades???????'   [my daughter had to explain that to Kevin's teacher at the Christian school he attends..........they were both laughing so hard, they were crying!!!!!]

Comment by Kathryn Ball on October 14, 2012 at 11:37pm

Dr Bellar is my new best friend!!!!!

 

Why isn't THIS a campaign ad???????

Comment by Raya @ REAL CONSERVATIVES on August 31, 2012 at 10:43am

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@ Philip Schneider

 

yeah, when I inquired about viagra,.... he gave me a jar of *Maxwell House!!.  (rim shot)

 

( *very stimulating ...keep up with the coffee!)

 

Oh!,  " (  ;-0  ) " , the joys of Obummercare! Medicine on the cheap

 

;-(

 

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Comment by PHILIP SCHNEIDER on August 30, 2012 at 6:41pm

I tightened my belt and read this again . . . . . my pants stayed up but I spit coffee all over reading the punch lines.

Comment by Raya @ REAL CONSERVATIVES on August 25, 2012 at 4:09pm

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@ Philip

 

Thanks

.....well, so much for my attempts at comedy writing

 

;-)

RayA

Comment by PHILIP SCHNEIDER on August 25, 2012 at 2:22pm

If it wasn't true, I'd be laughing till my shorts fell down.

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