MOUSTACHE DRAWING CONTEST

[Your Uncle Sam]

ENTER AND WIN!!!

YES, WIN!

A 'ROUND THE WORLD "TRIP"!

YES, IT'S TRUE!! AS THE WORLD GOES ROUND...

...YOU WILL TAKE A TRIP

...NEXT FALL!

JUST DRAW THE MOST FLATTERING MOUSTACHE

ON ONE OF THESE LOVELY MODELS

AND SEND IT IN!!!

(ONE ENTRY PER CONTESTANT)

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DAWN ELIZABETH

NAPPY JAN

PILLORIED

HILLARY

...AND, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LAST YEAR'S QUEEN...."RENO"

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WINNERS WILL BE NOTIFIED IN THE FALL!

(NEXT TIME YOU TRIP, LET US KNOW IF YOU FELL)

BE CREATIVE!

ALL OF THESE LOVELY MODELS HAVE BEEN FLIRTING

WITH THE IDEA OF GROWING A MOUSTACHE AND THEY

JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP IN DECIDING WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE

THEY NEED HELP!!....HELP THEM, PLEASE!

WIN A

"DATE WITH CHRISTI ROMER"

JUST FOR TRYING!!

(....AND, IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO DATES, WE'LL SEND YOU A PRUNE!!)

[LON RANGER]

First, send 'em to Nancy Pelosi's plastic surgeon

Then to the livery stable...they look like they need to be groomed and shoed!

[PHILIP SCHNEIDER]

No thanks, I would rather stay home than touch even an IMAGE of those political whores.

[Jane Smith]

"NAIR"-y a clue

[John Burroughs]

IS THERE A RAZOR IN THE HOUSE?

...I want to slash my wrist!!!!